Internal Battle
poem by:
Jeanne E
Written
on Mar 25, 2021
It feels good to move
It feels good to be me
I love the way I look
I love the way I am
For only I can be me
Beautifully unique
I see those around me
I see others
I see peers
A wave of envy flows within
It grows immensely
A desire to be like them
A desire to change
A desire to not be me
Why can't I be like them?
Why must I be like this?
Why can't this feeling go away?
I am me
I am enough
I am okay
This crave of validation is
Useless
Unneeded
Unnecessary
I want to be me
I want better for me
Not from superficial beauty
Not from a superficial society
If only I
looked like them
had what they had
were them
To be someone else
Brings me joy
Brings me satisfaction
Dissatisfied with myself
I want to be me
Dissociation with myself
I can't do this
Why can't I do this?
What are these emotions?
They keep overflowing
They keep coming
I don't know what to do
I don't know who I want to be
I don't know
Tears of frustration
My mind
Clouded with negative thoughts
Constantly raining with self hate
Simultaneously
Wanting self-assurance to break through the large substantial wall
That is myself
A constant internal battle
So senseless
So unaware
Of the storm that was to come
Self-destruction
