December 1st 1957
alternate title: debut of Amelie Beth Harris
First borne progeny to the late Harriet
and current octogenarian widower Boyce
Harris her birth delivered more than the
sum total of a healthy baby girl, she gurgled
with contentment asper the center of attention
for thirteen plus months until thee debut
of this author, whose birth (mine) automatically
designated said offspring as “big†sister, who
would instinctively evince the role of pseudo
mother, when this extremely bashful boy bore
being bruited by bullies, whence she served
as protector and barrier reef to cushion thyself,
who suffered extreme vulnerability when thrown
figurative sucker punch (and at times threatened with
getting hammered to a pulp) by brutes who found
me a convenient target. The disadvantage standing l
ike a whisper in the wind exhibiting extreme intro-
verted ness (only recently strongly linkedin to bio
chemical disparity), and to top off avalanche of
denigrating assault this wordsmith subject to
the unfair incursions of all manner of venal, verbal
and veracious vocalizations, I spoke with a severe
nasal arising from congenital defect (during the onset
of prepubescence) identified as a submucous cleft
palate, which essentially constituted a split uvula
whereby two halves of what ought to be a singular
elongated fraction of an inch tear drop shaped tissue
played havoc, when every now and again spontaneous
bursts of utterances took place pronounced nasality a
capstone in tandem to afore mentioned characteristics.
This current voluntarily solitary older papa reflects how
mix of genetic primary colors red deuced his fighting
spirit reduced him to yell low wing silent blue in the
face of madness made retorts, which constant besieging
deplorable fiendish hate jabbering tinder fueling internal
discord, and exacerbating a pre dilection toward rapier
renting social withdrawal, temptation toward self starvation
easily provoked when self esteem, confidence and acceptance
of self already at an all time low setting the stage for psychic
fracture, and tis only of late that salient strengths plus health of
body, mind and spirit prized, relished and valued sprung
immeasurable from love eldest sibling, whose needling
when mine existence akin to a bridge over troubled water,
now with 20/20 hindsight recognizes such misinterpretations
as bothersome frequent meddling merely attempted to express
care and concern toward this sole brother, whose behavior
when figuratively dangling from tender hooks bore witness to
maturation of deux darling daughters clearly understood while
slogging thru the trials and tribulations of fatherhood brought
revelations sans how pained mother, father and sister felt,
when helplessness found Matthew Scott Harris to writhe in
despair preferring short cut viz demise via anorexia nervosa
than experiencing plethora of positive opportunities to foster
childhoods’ end, and segway into vibrant young adult, which
remembrance or things past dredges up Proust chin wince
of sadness at forsaking manifold glee instead reacting by
hermetically sealing thyself more exhausting than if early life
lived with active anchors re: esprit de corps, thus now each
day holds value even if occupied with routine matters, where
self actualization finds me striving to deliver measure of
selflessness and payback to worthy persons who played
a pivotal role aiding importance of this perceptive person.
