Crawling back to you
And then, I find myself crawling back to you, again and again, as an infinity lapse that wont never end,
I find myself trying to get to you, reaching out for your hand, not even caring about the last breathe I'm about to do, all that matters now is your hand.
I'm trying to get to know you, I'm trying to adapt myself to the new you, I'm trying to answer when everyone calls me Ivuria, but in the most dark place of me, I know that I will always be the other Ivuria, the one I'm trying to get to.
My life changed, a lot, I became a strong person but in exchange I don't trust anyone, I do talk with one person at all, I miss the substance, I miss getting high everyday, I miss smoking this cigarrettes at middle of the night in my window, watching the stars on that beatiful sky, I miss being free and doing whatever I wanted to, but that was killing me, step by step I did, something inside of me died, everyday, every hour, every minute and second, I know I was killing myself, but it really matters? Ain't way more easy to just end it all again? I tried, and I failed, october 2022, tried and failed, the shame in my face could tell I was mad at me, I just wanted to something and cannot even do it, I wanted to kill myself, but I couldn't.
Take care of the loved ones, you don't know when it will be the last time you see them, try to help, if they smile, they laugh, they say they're fine, still worry about them, because I did that too.
