The Day After The Break Up
This is when it's been 24 hours and you're still lying in bed numb. When you fought your hardest when all he wanted to do was walk away like it was nothing. When you we're planing your whole life with him he was just planning his escape from you. This is when you are lying in bed sobbing, hurting to the core to where you can feel it in your bones and your stomach hurts from crying so much. This is when your nose gets a scab from blowing it too much it becomes raw. This is when life gets unfair and you start to question what did i do wrong? What happened? Where did it go wrong? When did he start to become unhappy? When did he wake up and stop loving me? Why? All these questions will fill your mind and you will start to hurt all over again. Now it has been 72 hours and you feel a little better. You look in the mirror and still find your eyes to be puffy and your nose is still red as well as your cheeks. Finally 94 hours later you get the courage to call your friends and break the news. You search for positivity or at least not a half asses response nor something too bland. Once you finish talking to all of them even getting lunch or dinner with them and talking about things you still seem to feel empty and lonely. You felt as if you heard the same thing from all of them it almost sounded rehearsed. This is when all hope is lost. When you feel as if things will never get better. But that is when you are wrong. Shit gets better. The most important thing to remember is it all starts from within yourself. It all starts with you. You want your pain and greif to be over with then it is up to you to end it and move on. Just because your relationship ended doesnt mean your life has to as well. You are human. You have feelings. So don't be afraid to feel. Or to love even if people have broken you and it. Its okay to cry, to hurt, to lay in bed and feel nothing but endless numbing flowing through your body, to not know what to do. You are human none of us have the answers to anything. Better things will come and the universe has a plan for you. One day you will wake up and realize your days are getting a little easier, your smile gets a little brighter, your laugh makes people feel warm and it starts to warm you, and your skin starts to glow a little brighter. People will see the happiness and positive energy radiating off you that they cant help but say "You look beautiful today." You have to realize you will have struggles all throughout your life. Shit happens thats doesn't mean you stop living for the happiness you deserve nor seek to find. There will be days when you miss him, where you will scroll through his photos endlessly for hours. That is normal. What isn't healthy for you is not moving on past your past. No this wont be easy but it isn't impossible. It will take time everything takes time. And when you reflect on this time in your life 15 years from now you will realized you learned something from this. And at that moment it will feel like the most gratifying thing in the world. Let the past be the past, let memories be memories you cannot recreat nor beg for something or someone that isnt there anymore. It is time you start to put yourself and your happiness first. Start living for yourself and yourself only. It all starts with you.
