The Monster Inside Me

The nauseating feeling passing through me everyday  seem to go away. Is it 
from all the drugs im consuming? Or is it the fact i havent ate or slept in 
days. Is it depression thats building inside my body? Or maybe my mind is 
just that sick and fucked up even my body recognizes it. The feelings  
going away only growing stronger. I feel as though im at the darkest point 
in my life.  no hope for me. Im a human creating a monster. A monster full 
of hate and death. A monster i see when i look in the mirror. I dont even 
recognize myself anymore. I take these 3 pills, drink this bottle, and lie 
awake as i make the monster inside me feel more alive then ever. The 
monster i am and so glad to be, because if i didnt become the monster i 
would still be heartbroken over you. But even my monster cant compare to 
you.  I roam these halls as something else, does anybody even notice? They 
all just laugh and talk away, no idea the dark pain i have. How do people 
not see, not see that this isnt me. The happy girl you once knew, gone 
forever, but soon youll know, that it is no longer me, because the demons 
in your  head will no longer be  just a voice theyll become more and more, 
and youll end up like me. Because everyone has a monster, it just as to be 
awoken. And just like me, you will  lie in the dark thinking of what to do, 
and alls youll see is death, youll try to listen to hear your thoughts say 
no. But its only silence, then my friend youll know what you have to do. 
Forget yourself and become the monster, theres no fighting it. Trust me i 
know.

Tags: deep, scary, pain, dark, fear, love, hope,