left almost alone

Why do I feel so brave all the sudden
Why do my beloved anxiety leave me behind when it feels like it
What happened with “stay away from people at all times, you can’t trust them”
Why do I wanna go on dates with strangers 
Meet up with old friends 
Why do I answer messages 
But I still don’t start conversation 
What happened with the “ehhhh” before I answer to if I want a bag or not with the stuff that I went to the store and bought all by ‘myself’
Am I overcoming my diagnosis?
Is this what it feels like being clean
Being clean of anxiety 
No, it can’t be, at least not yet
Being clean is being happy
No matter how brave I might feel at times I’m still not happy 
I’m not clean of depressed and hatred

 

Tags: Sad, Anger, Depressing, Pain, Hate,