The Last Time

poem by: James Dicus
Written on Jun 22, 2019

This is the last time.
I held on long after it was over.
Days turned to weeks, weeks to months.
I hoped there was still something there, I was wrong.

I was slowly killing myself.
I thought the suffering would be worth it in the end.
I was wrong.

I was wrong, I was stupid, I was blinded by feelings and hope.
I kept looking for a silver lining in the dark clouds.
Nothing showed but I kept looking anyway.

In the end, it’s my fault.
My mistakes, misjudgments, and imperfections.

I wear scars that no one can see.
It’s said time heals all scars. 
I’ll have to wait and see if this is true.
I hope it is, though I’ve hoped before and it’s only made things worse.

This is the last time.
I’ve been broken once too many times.
I have to focus on myself and truly stop caring what others think or want.

I’ve been content alone before.
I’d have saved myself a lot of pain if I stayed that way.
The “memories” are not worth it.
They’re nothing but mistakes now.

This is the last time.

James Dicus
6-10-19

 

Tags: Anger, Depressing, Pain, Hate,

 

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