Confessions
I've been to several funerals and all I wonder if the those tears were real. I wasn't allowed to go to her funeral and that might have been the only time I shed a tear. This is not something that bothers me but something to think about. Will they show up to my funeral, would they also cry. Will there be someone like me there that will sit there and not shed a tear but be hurting deep inside. Will I be like the others, I often wonder this. Can you promise me that you won't cry at my funeral. That way if you do cry I know that it's real because I took the burden or obligation of tears from you. I often wonder if life is worth it and if there is an afterlife. N afterlife would be amazing. Just the thought of it would be liberating. I could end up in hell or heaven but just knowing that there is something afterwards would be a blessing. You committed suicide and he beat me to it. I hate you for that, maybe you would be in my shoes and I your coffin. I even planned it, I had a fucking plan yo.
