Deceit my Sin

What I've become I really despise 
My life compiled of deceit & lies 
Empty words lacking truth
A deceptive nature stemmed from youth
No feelings of guilt nor remorse felt
Lying with ease not a moment dwelt
Exceptionally tangled web weaved
Ensuring stories are concise and believed
People see my potential which Will inevitably die
I will be the one in which all could rely 
There's no spark left; the excitement’s gone 
The first felt enthusiasm decreased to none
The more trust I obtain, the less praise I receive 
I battle the instincts that want to deceive
Trust is earned and once this is reached ; 
that gained trust will soon be breached
expectations not met; excused by deceit 
I long for my recreational retreat.
I could say I am sorry but it is always lie
I cant be arsed anymore, why should I try

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