To Dad xx

When I sit alone and reminisce I constantly think of what I miss
The years have gone so quick somehow Memories of you,
 so distant now Unanswered questions still linger on…. Why did you do it?
Why not confide in someone?
Why didn’t you tell us how bad it had gotten? 
Did you think better off dead & forgotten?
I can’t begin to understand your mind-set that day
 To make you believe there was no other way
One thing I can say you planned it so well
 Happy as always from what folks could tell
The people you were close to and those that you knew
 Fell in to shock, couldn’t believe it was true
You had been for drinks with your closest friends 
Not one had an inkling that, that it was the end 
On that day you went to the shop in the morning
You were seen as yourself, showing no sign of warning 
On route to your death, you emptied rides of the money
 I thought that was strange I thought it seemed funny 
Maybe you planned to come home to us instead
And you realised that you were not better off dead
I thing I think of is how much anguish you were in at the time
 And did understand what you were leaving behind…….?
I played the tape you left us behind I must of played it a hundred times
What you said about me, I need you to know 
I never did hate you or thought you should go
 I was at that age of loathing any rule
Hating restrictions that messed up ‘ what's cool’
 I hate to think of you suffering so,
Tormented inside, filled up with woe
My hope is for you that your soul lives on free 
And when its my time you will be waiting for me. 
Love always Ceri x

Tags: sad, deep,