First poem! Helpful tips needed

poem by: Marc Damian
Written on Mar 16, 2015

Never leave me you bring me hope
I look into your eyes, my heart clinging to them like a rope
How would I make it without you?
Look how far we have gone, I need you more than ever
If this be our last days, make them last
You'll make my eyes warm from the tears like a fever
Tell me how long you will stay
Our love is running out just too fast

 

Tags: confused,

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Marc Damian commented:
Any improvements like metrics, lines, and whatnot can go in here on the comments. It would be very helpful
Q. Ramirez commented:
I have not seen any new submissions from you. I know that you have the talent to write poetry. As far as metrics, rhythm and rhyme, it all depends on what you want to express. Also write about things that surround you.
Christopher Russon commented:

Christopher Russon commented:
Lovely poem.Well written.my goal is to improve my poetry.
A previous user commented:
A writer writes. Is there a right way? Its your message that's seen. So keep sharing!

 

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