Notice Me
Is it too cliche to say I wish I were dead? Not in a permanent nor physical sense, but in every other way conceivable. I wish to wrap myself in Death’s arms and feel his warm embrace, just to simply taste the final fragile ending I yearn for without the commitment. I distance myself as you learn to be weary around my destructive palms. The very palms that ache to hold your jaw to my eyes and see you notice me for the first time. I begin grasping at the air around me for assistance, only to be left with empty palms falling through false hope. My feet dangle over the cliff I’ve built off of my own sorrow and regret. I’ve climbed to the top with no way to escape. I look down in curiosity, only to find that I have not yet prepare to truly let go. As badly as I would adore to be forgotten. As much as I would be joyed to relieve others of the burden that is my presence. I’m nothing but complex and stormy, resulting in everything I’ve tried to create falling apart from my touch. I am not yet ready to fall down into the darkness that lies ahead of me. I sit on the edge, hoping that one day I will grow my wings to soar away; and until then, I will rot in the place I reside. Parting slowly with the world I’ve begged to be noticed by for so long. As I slowly head for the darkness I deserve. Please do not miss me when you forget how my eyes glisten into a bright caramel when the rays of the sun bathe in them. Please do not feel sorrow when you are only able to grasp faint tones scattered across your mind when you finally forget the sound of my voice. It is only but the voice who screamed in agony to be noticed by you for so long. All I wanted was for my cries to be heard. I have yet to see the light of day as I’ve spent my life deep in this dark hole. Could you possibly shine your light down to gaze at me, even if I am nothing but an experiment gone wrong in your eyes? Will you grant me your attention if I promise to never seek anything but darkness again? Just a single gaze is all I need. All I know now is that better days are indeed on their way. This is only but a pre-party, celebrating the greatness that lies ahead for all those included. Those who didn’t have to beg to be seen as a human being and not just a shadow in the room to be avoided. It just happens that a shadow is all I’ve ever been. That’s if you could you even dare call my life an existence at all. This is where I shall remain. Cold, empty, waiting for the day my vessel takes its final breath, for that will be the very moment that will be what’s been worth living this excruciating life, hidden in the darkness for so long.