Take Control
I used to think the worst thing was not being able to feel,
I used to believe my world would be better if it was shared,
I’m starting to see now it’s the other way around, that’s the deal,
For all of the pain the anger the love and the passion that spawned cause I cared,
I would trade it all back to keep myself moving forward,
I would give it all back to take the scars I’ve left on those who’ve cared about me,
The things I’ve said to them just to keep my blood moving, cursed word,
Even when I saw him, he was always on the inside, now I see.
Can I really keep doing this? Blaming my weakness on me and saying it’s not,
Coming up with a million reasons to stay small because I was bored and afraid,
Too easy, just put it off until it’s a challenge, too hard, can’t control my thoughts,
The drive of passion, I see I could crush and dominate, so I dull this blade,
Put myself in a hole and my mind in a gutter,
Push and maim myself til i sputter,
Learn to enjoy this downtrodden state so I don’t become anything,
Because nothing is better than an awful something,
I can’t tell if I make the voices or not, but they are still in my head,
It’s my choice and I’ll devote the energy to silence them until only my voice is said.
I’m the only one stopping myself, it’s time I started to appreciate what I’ve got,
Family, friends, love, I ask for something and that’s what I get,
But I don’t get it my way, and that voice takes advantage of that,
I ain’t got a girl, I think there’s no future? I’ll make it all fall flat,
The doubt kept me humble, but I won’t let it keep me down anymore,
The passion pounding in my chest, I’ll hold it down until I’m sore,
It may power me, but I will not make others suffer from the core.
I thought putting myself through it would help me adapt,
I’ll be down again eventually, everyone is, that’s not the point,
It’s time to take control again, I am my own master, and I’m gonna stay
