The bee's revenge
poem by:
Scribe Granted
Written
on Jan 13, 2017
A boy whooshed past a bee flying by The bee followed and stung the boy in his thigh The boy cried and he thrashed The bee lay on a flower and laughed Then suddenly the bee stopped and died.
Tags: humor, rhyme, anger, dark,
Add Comment
Edward shields commented:
This poem was to rushed. Think, write, and write again! More punctuation would be good.
Scribe Granted
commented:
You could be right, its a limerick so I just wanted something short and fun but with a point, I probably should've sat with it more. Thanks for commenting :)
Scribe Granted
commented:
Do you know any limericks that sound much more detailed? Its sort of a simplistic form but I think better punctuation could help in the future
Cecilia Crasto
commented:
I was once taught that punctuations detract from a poem, so I leave them out, but everyone has a different theory so go with what you feel is best.
Allison Green
commented:
The beginning is wonderful and immediately gives us a great visual. The irony at the end was spectacular and I laughed aloud. I wish you put more detail in it, but definitely a simple, humorous poem.
