It's Not That Hard To Find A Keanu
It's Not That Hard To Find A Keanu
By Dan L. Murphy
Copyright © 2015, All Rights Reserved
TheDuck.com / DLMcomics
The other day I was watching 47 Ronin...I don't
know how far in it was, but it was during the flashback
of Keanu Reeves' character when he was just a normal,
average, little white samurai boy. And to be honest, they
could have just continued using this boy as the older Keanu
and I wouldn't have noticed...
But, anywaaay...
I was like "WOW, that kid looks JUST like a younger Keanu!"
Then I was like "Who did the casting in this!? Great job!"
But, then I thought about those big, doe eyes and
silky hair, and other super-distinct features, and THEN
I was like "It's not THAT hard to find a Keanu..."
-----
Yeah, it's not that hard to find a Keanu...
Look left and right, might be right behind you
And, if you're makin' a movie...just do what I do!
Black hair, black eyes, black suit...Keanu!
Constantine: decent movie, but the acting: obscene
It's like Bill left Ted...at excellent Speed
And if you need a stunt double...just do what I do!
Black hair, black eyes, black suit...Keanu!
Yeah, it's not that hard to find a Keanu...
Look left and right, might be one behind you
And, if you're makin' a movie...any look-a-like will do!
Black hair, black eyes, black suit...Keanu!
He's "The One", alright...yeah, one of many...
Bunch of bobble-heads...so you can really pick any
It's an attack of the clones...and any one will do!
Black hair, black eyes, black suit...Keanu!
I'm scanning darkly...until I see...
Yep! There's twenty-three in the vicinity!
They crowd around me...zombies sayin' "Duuude!"
Black hair, black eyes, black suit...Keanu!
So, look up and down...there's probably ten around...'cause
It's not that hard to find a Keanu...
Look left and right, might be right behind you
And, if you're makin' a movie...just do what I do!
Black hair, black eyes, black suit...Keanu!
-----
Oh yeah, also...while on the set of Bram Stoker's Dracula,
Gary Oldman was rehearsing lines (for the first dinner-table scene)
with a STUNT DOUBLE!!! There's no action in this scene, man...
I mean HELLOOOO...I guess the stunt double didn't mind. I'm sure
there was a crowd of them, anyway. I mean, it's Gary freakin'
Oldman, ya know? With a butt-shaped wig...
So, anyway, where was I?
Oh, yeah...So, I was comparing the masks that they used in
Point Break, and I was like "Now it REALLY doesn't matter
who you cast as Keanu! I mean, with the masks and everything?
Get it?...Hello...? Anyone still reading this??
THEN, I learned that Keanu's first name stands for
"Cool breeze over the mountains"...which is ok I guess,
but on the next Keanu they should call him "Ultimate Dragon Overlord"
or something...
I think I'll change the title to:
"It's not that hard to find a cool breeze over the mountains"
Hello?? Anyone...???
Anyone out there?...Helloooo......
...
If you're a Keanu please respond...
By Dan L. Murphy, © 2015, All Rights Reserved
