The sweetest words I ever heard Were told to me by a little bird As I sat beneath the silver birch He came and landed on his perch. He whispered softly in my ear Little secrets I needed to hear My neighbor had stolen my garden gnome And the golden peaches I'd lovingly grown. When I'm away from home she comes in To guzzle down my Blue Bombay gin She stole a copy of my veg and Bandicoot stew Now blatantly featured in her restaurant's menu. All these secrets I will hoard and treasure And in return I'll give measure for measure Hearken to the bird and what he has to say He alone can orchestrate the day!