stopping it all

I don't know what to do..
I can't stop thinking..
Its breaking my heart more and more with every thought that goes by..
I don't know what to do..
I don't want to feel no more..
The sharp knife look so nice..
It just sits there waiting for me to use it..
But I haven't in so long..
I'm forgetting how it feels..
I promised I would never do it again..
But what good is a promise..
If the person isn't there to make sure you keep it..
I'm so lost in thoughts..
That the knife might bring me back to reality..
I rather feel the sharpness of a knife..
Then the cracking of my heart breaking into pieces..
I'm sorry I'm not perfect..
I'm sorry I'm not the best..
I'm sorry that I make you mad..
I'm sorry for the scars..
I'm sorry for everything..
I wish I could make you smile..
I wish you could see how much I love you..
How much you mean to me..
How much I don't want to lose you..
How much it hurts just the thought of losing you..
I can't stop thinking..
Only way to end the pain would be to end it all..
The beating of my heart..
The breath from my mouth..
The opening of my eyes..
Just stop..
And never to able to start again..
As the Lost words slipping from my month are..
"I'm sorry.. I love you".....

x

 

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