A Week In The Life Of Edith Brown

It’s eight ‘o’ clock on Monday morning 
And a certain someone is on the bus to town 
It’s the start of another hectic week 
In the life of Edith Brown 

At ten she meets her old friend Pam 
In the Pink Teapot Cafe 
There'll be tea and cakes waiting for her 
And as usual Pam won’t let her pay 

Pam will moan about her husband Fred 
Who’s the laziest man on earth 
Ever since she married him 
He’s been more trouble than he’s worth 

Edith will listen attentively 
But she’s cautious to offer advice 
Pam can be very defensive 
Sometimes downright nasty to be precise 

When the tea and cakes are drunk and eaten 
Edith and Pam go their separate ways 
No hug as they part company 
Cos Pam's not keen on public displays 

Edith goes home and does some ironing 
Then sits down to watch TV 
With a cuppa and a plate of digestives 
On a lap-tray upon her knee 

When seven-thirty comes around 
It’s time for Edith to put up her feet 
With a steaming cup of hot chocolate 
Watching Coronation Street 

She goes to bed at ten-thirty 
And wakes up each day at six 
After a glass of hot water and lemon 
Her fried breakfast she will fix 

Two eggs, two sausages and a slice of fried bread 
She eats the same thing every day 
She’s just about due for her cholesterol check 
Goodness knows what her doctor will say 

Tuesday is the day she bakes 
Cakes she’s not supposed to eat 
She uses guesswork for the measures 
And ends up with enough cakes to feed the street 

On Wednesday Edith plays Bridge 
With some friends she’s known for years 
Sometimes they play in her sitting room 
Other times they play in theirs 

One particular friend called Sally 
Plays her cards close to her chest 
She makes up the rules to suit herself 
Much to the dismay of the rest 

Whenever she is playing 
She likes a large glass of gin 
And when someone has a bit of luck 
She swears down she's let them win 

On Thursdays, Edith goes to the market 
Where there are bargains to be found 
But the site is on a car-park 
Where large potholes are profound 

Many a time she’s almost dislocated 
Her newly-fitted plastic hip 
Not looking where she’s going 
And resulting in a trip 

The stalls are full of varied things 
From furniture to lemonade 
Electrical appliances and ornaments 
And lots of lamps without a shade 

Friday afternoons, Edith goes to the cinema 
To see the latest blockbuster 
Her favourite film is ‘Son of the Morning Star’ 
In which Gary Cole played General Custer 

At the weekend she takes it easy 
Doing a crossword or reading a book 
She hopes that no-one needs to contact her 
Because her phone is off the hook 

She’s got tired of cold-callers 
Wanting to know who’s her energy supplier 
They pestered her so much 
She felt like disconnecting the telephone wire 

She’s had a laid-back weekend 
Now it’s time to go to sleep 
Before Monday morning comes 
And the start of another busy week 

If you pop into the Pink Teapot Cafe 
When you’re in the town 
The lady at the table near the window 
Is the one and only Edith Brown

Tags: humor, rhyme,