The Nativity Co-ordinator Circa 1950
Trying to co-ordinate the children's Christmas Nativity
When a million things can go wrong.
One little angel has a gippy tummy.
Now who in the class is her understudy?
One little soul has broken her tissue-paper wings.
Does anyone have the Sellotape, or a bit of string?
Diminutive Lily, lines forgotten with stage fright,
Stands in the spot light, succumbs to last minute nerves.
Oh vicar, that's enough, please don't make such a fuss.
Can't you go elsewhere and say a little prayer?
Mr Jones, a moment, are you in charge of the stable scenery?
Mrs Brown, where pray is the holy manger's hay?
Which fool here said it would be alright on the day?
Dear Joanne there's supposed to be only one Mary.
No Lucy! You are an angel not a fairy.
You can't have your bendy wand back.
Angels don't have wands in the holy story.
Joseph dear, please stop coughing.
Don't say you are going train spotting
Not just as the Three Kings arrive on their camels.
No Robby! Jesus can't be replaced by your black golly.
His coloured, funny face, doesn't look like the holy babe's.
Mrs Bennett, do stop crying, I know the children are trying.
But do try to keep the little dears in line the next time.
You'll have time for a stiff gin later, I'll willingly join you.
When this farce of the so called 'Nativity' play is finished.
Thank you God, well done you kids, it's finally all over.
Can't you all hear your audiences uproarious laughter?
My dears, didn't everyone here have a jolly good time?
(Author's note. Thinking back to the school nativity play as a child!)
